BACON!!!!!!!!! I SMELL BACON!!!!!!!!!|
[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 18 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Tuesday, November 11th, 2008|
What has happened since my last update?? A LOT!!! Those annoying pigs that I had to live with, Rayna and Persephone, DIED! Which meant I was ALL ALONE!!! HOORAY!!! I did TWENTY-ELEVEN laps around my cage!! MINE MINE ALL MINE!!!
Then the humans moved me into a penthouse apartment of a cage--ALL MINE!!! It's SIX FEET LONG!!! And I don't have to have ANY stupid ROOMMATES!!! I have my own pigloo that I like to huddle in when it's cold, I have a cuddle cup, I have a tube full of hay, I have my own bottle and pellet bowl, and NOBODY stinks up my cage by pooping outside of Designated Pooping Zones (designated by ME!)!!! THIS IS THE BEST!!!!
I LOVE MY LIFE!!! Current Mood: content
|Tuesday, August 5th, 2008|
Where are my underlings?? WHERE ARE MY UNDERLINGS?!?
|Monday, July 14th, 2008|
|Rayna is such a bitch!
One of the mommies put a cuddle cup in the cage the other day. MY cuddle cup. The green one! But I haven't gotten to sleep in it AT ALL!! Why?? Because of that mean old Rayna! Every time I try to get in it, she glares at me or bites me! She doesn't even want it for herself, she just won't let me in it! But she lets stupid Persephone sleep in it all the time! This is MY cuddle cup! The one that needs a bacon tray!!
Speaking of bacon, I'm ALWAYS getting blamed by the mommies whenever someone starts wheeking for bacon. Can I help it if the other pigs have finally seen the light and want to partake of the yumminess that is bacon? I think not! I was asleep at the time!!
Anyway, I have important things to go do now. Those poops aren't going to eat themselves, you know! Current Mood: annoyed
|Monday, March 31st, 2008|
This so-called "Mommy" character is really annoying me! All I want is some attention and bacon, and she ignores me every time she walks past the cage! Or worse, she pays attention to everyone but me! Just because Rayna has cancer of the attitude, Persephone has an enlarged stupidity gland, and the lardbutts upstairs might have heart problems (except for the fact that they only have dried-up little filberts where they ought to have hearts anyways!) doesn't mean that I should be ignored! I think I'll let my nose run a little to garner sympathy (and possibly bacon!).
I was so mad at "Mommy" that when she stuck her finger in the cage and tried to scratch my chin I kept biting her! HA! That'll teach her to ignore me!
Now if only I had a nice snuggly cuddle cup with a bacon tray, things might look a little better. Current Mood: hopeful
|Thursday, August 16th, 2007|
My mommies are decent at taking care of me, but boy! They just aren't anywhere as great as Mai! For instance, I'm sure if I lived with Mai she would give me lots of bacon. Plus, I bet I would never get my toenails clipped! And I'd never get tormented with ivermectin! Bacon bacon bacon bacon meat meat meat meat meat! Current Mood: hungry
|Thursday, June 7th, 2007|
Of course I have double chins in my armpits! DUH! I ran out of room on my FACE! Where else was I going to put them?!?
Ashes is gone. I miss my cuddle buddy. She was so comfy to sit on. Now all I have is my cuddle cup, which is a very nice cuddle cup indeed, but not as cuddly as Ashes. Me and Rayna and Sephy were all cuddled up worried about her when Blonde Mommy took her away, and when she came back without our Ashes, we knew she was gone. So they stopped cuddling me :( and now I have nobody to cuddle.
It's really sad. But in better news, Blonde Mommy told me that there are bacon-flavored crackers at her place of employment. YUM! I'm sure that someday she'll purchase some and feel like sharing!
|Thursday, May 24th, 2007|
|Things are other than I would have them!!!
I still have no bacon! And worse than that, one of the pigs I live with is sick! The only good thing about Ashes being sick is that now she doesn't run away when I cuddle her. Finally, I have a cuddle buddy! Unfortunately she breathes loudly so sometimes that wakes me up.
I got really cold this winter so I decided to put on a thick layer of hair and fat to keep me warm! But then it got hot in here!
Also, I moved to a new house! And this time, everyone came with me AND I didn't have to ride IN the moving truck!! The only problem is that other, inferior
tricolored pig, JACKIE, was in the carrier with me for a whole day! He smells so bad I wouldn't even have wanted to eat bacon if it was offered right then!
That Rayna is such a bitch! She thinks she's queen of the cage or something. Sometimes I'll be just minding my own business, eating hay or sitting
beside Ashes, and Rayna will just come over and start attacking me! I seriously don't understand anything about that pig, from her attitude to her communist sympathies to her moplike hair! I think she caused global warming! Plus, she leaves her poops in MY cuddle cup!
I have a really nice cuddle cup! I have to give the humans props on that one for their good taste. It doesn't have a bacon tray, but other than that, it's everything I could ask for in a cuddle cup, and I can ask for a lot! It's green with a gold design and I think it compliments my big brown eyes very well! Also, it's very soft and it's even big enough for if someone wanted to cuddle with me! Like Ashes, now that she's sick and stuff! But if I get any bacon, she can't share. She's too sick to eat bacon. It would get stuck in her arteries. All the bacon should go directly to me.
My tall mommy has thankfully stopped watching the vampire show with the *shudder* bunny slippers
. That was really frightening. I hope I get taken out of the cage more to watch better quality televised entertainment from now on. I mean, I'm not a total yokel like Ashes, who likes to watch wrestling, but I don't want to watch a show where a nice vampire has such frightening slippers either. Maybe there will be shows about bacon on the Food Network. Although really, an entire Bacon Network would be much better. If they ran out of things to show, they could also add in shows about sausage, ham, pork shoulder, chitterlings, etc. I'm not picky. It would be great! They could have travel shows where the host goes to different countries and tries out their bacon. Canadian bacon, pancetta--yum! In fact, I know who would be a great host for that show. I've always wanted to go into showbiz.
Don't you think I would be great on TV? I love to talk and I know the best pose for my pretty face. With my head tilted! Then I look adorably cute and oh-so-fetching! Don't you just want to give me bacon
As long as nobody tries to give me a manicure and pedicure. If there's one thing I hate, it's
nail trims! I have a really tragic story about getting my toenail torn off, too. They could make an afterschool special about it.
I guess I better get back to the cage. Ashes isn't going to
cuddle herself, you know. Current Mood: busy
|Friday, May 4th, 2007|
|Someone please Pimp My Cage!
I love watching this "TV" thing and my favorite show is called "Pimp My Ride". But since I don't have any ride (since fatass Jackie moved out) I would like the fine people to Pimp My Cage! I need some bling (aren't I a pretty pretty princess like Ashes and Persephone?) and a fancy paint job with stripes on the hay baskets and a gradient on the sides of the cage, and some graffiti on the floor, and then I want hydraulic lifts for the pellet dishes, and spinning hubcaps on the outside! I think that would look really awesome and pimped-out! And the finishing touch would be a "No Bunnies" sign!
Also, my mommy is playing a game called Dragon Quest, and there are terrifying HORNED BUNNIES in it!! How wrong is that?! I wish she wouldn't play that scary game! Current Mood: hyper
|Friday, April 20th, 2007|
|Where's the bacon??
The humans moved to a new place and I have been shoveling in the pellets! YUM! The only thing I need now is MEAT! THAT'S WHAT REAL PIGGIES NEED!
I also need to explore this new place! I haven't had any floortime yet because of "real wood" or some such. Who cares? I want to run around and check things out!
|Monday, March 19th, 2007|
People are weird!
My blonde mommy has been watching a vampire show on the computer. It's really scary! I'm not scared of vampires, but this one wears bunny slippers
! How frightening is that??
But why would she want to watch that anyway?
Persephone has been kind of psycho lately! She kept jumping on my back yesterday while I was trying to nap. But I bit her and sent her running! A million times! HA!
|Tuesday, October 17th, 2006|
|I'M THE BOSS!
Lately I've been showing everyone who's boss. WHO'S BOSS?? ME!!! Especially Persephone. She's fun to push around, because she's not as fat as Jackie, as stubborn as Ashes, or as pushy as Rayna. So mostly I push around Persephone. But I also like to harass Ashes and throw Jackie out of the cuddle cup! It's not like I really need to sleep in the cuddle cup, so I just hop in there to make sure everyone knows to stay out! Because I'M THE BOSS!!!
Since Persephone runs like a horse, I climbed up on her back for a ride! Also because I'M THE BOSS! I also sat on Jackie because I'M THE BOSS!!!
I'm the answer to the eternal question of 80s TV!
I'M THE BOSS!!!! Current Mood: bossy
|Thursday, September 28th, 2006|
|anyaluvsbacon's LJ stalker is charlyblue!|
|charlyblue is stalking you because you got better results for the 'acronym' thing than them. They are also getting jiggy with your best friend!|LJ Stalker Finder Current Mood: fussy
Hopefully in this case, "stalk" refers to celery stalks! I could use some more of those!
In other news, I was forced to eat cilantro today because of lack of better alternatives...like bacon! I think I'll fuss loudly about that for a while. Maybe my tall mommy will buy me some bacon at work!
|Thursday, July 6th, 2006|
|Bacon bacon bacon!
Did you know that I was named after the patron demon of scorned women? I think that's cool! I think I deserve bacon for that! Also for not looking that ugly! BACON! I think I'll be the patron demon of dumped guinea pigs!
BACON! BACON! BACON! Oinky oinky oink!
When does Jackie get out of piggy prison and love me up? I'm tired of waiting! I'm also tired of waiting for BACON! Current Mood: hungry
|Monday, June 26th, 2006|
|Bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon
P.S. I like Buffy the Vampire Slayer! I want a spinoff show called Anya the Bacon Slayer!!
P.P.S. I like it when my mommies wear overalls and I can sit in the bib part. It's cozy! Current Mood: hungry
|Saturday, April 1st, 2006|
TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! TACOS! NOW!!!!!!!!
P.S. Someone bit my ear...BITCH! I can cuddle you if I WANT!! Current Mood: hungry
|Wednesday, March 1st, 2006|
|The humans are TORMENTING me!!
They're cooking BACON!!! AGAIN!!! They're TORMENTING me!!! They are SO rude and greedy! Why do they need ALL that bacon?? Can't they share a LITTLE of it with me? I mean--oooh, pineapple!! Current Mood: hungry
|Tuesday, February 28th, 2006|
|More about BACON!!
- The canonical hours of the Christian church are matins, lauds, prime, terce, sext, none, bacon and compline.
- About 100 people choke to death on bacon each year.
- The National Heart Foundation recommends eating bacon at least three times a week.
- During severe windstorms, bacon may sway several feet to either side.
- The air around bacon is superheated to about five times the temperature of the sun!
- You should always open bacon at least an hour before drinking it!
- Bacon has four noses.
- Bacon is incapable of sleep!
- Bacon is the traditional gift for a couple on their third wedding anniversary.
- Plato believed that the souls of melancholy people would be reincarnated into bacon.
I feel VERY informed now about my favorite subject!
In other news, the boring boar died last week, so the interesting boar moved in upstairs! YAY! Sometimes I can smell the entirely un-bacon-like yet somehow enticing odor of his manly butt! Current Mood: hungry
|Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006|
this home and these people, except for one thing...they never share their bacon! How rude is that?? They made a big pot of pasta with bacon last night, and gave absolutely NONE of it to me! Do the humans really need a whole pound of bacon? I THINK NOT!
BACON!!! BaconbaconbaconbaconbaconBACON please give me BACON!!!!!!! Current Mood: hungry...FOR BACON!!!